The Idiot’s Guide To Everyday Life

31.May.06, 21:17 pm
Filed under: Rants

Note to men out there:

 If you're trying to seem loving and caring and want your mate to give you another chance to salvage your relationship, DON'T use the line, "I've invested too much of my time into this family for it not to work." And in the same breath, DON'T say, "I want to give this another chance, but if we do, I want complete control of the finances. Your job in this relationship… blah, blah, blah". I actually don't know what all he said after that because I was so appalled I stopped listening.

Relationships don't have JOBS or ROLES. When you're in a relationship, you share every responsibility EQUALLY. When you stop seeing it that way, it's no more a relationship than a business deal.

The aforementioned phrases are NOT caring and loving and understanding. They're condescending and hurtful. If you're trying to score points for the home team, you're going about it the wrong way. Women do NOT appreciate these phrases. We see them for what they are – controlling and manipulative.

I refuse to be treated that way.

The end.


A new idea….
30.May.06, 20:34 pm
Filed under: Tidbits About My Life, Work

Ok, if I move to Dallas, I can probably get started back in school full time this fall. I want to get my paralegal degree, I've wanted to for years, and now maybe I can!

I'd be closer to my fave cousin, Amber, and could finally start over in a place that I know I can succeed. There's just no job market in Oklahoma.

This is just an idea, but I'm going down there on Friday to talk to an admissions counselor at the school I want to attend. We'll see how it goes!

Wanna play on my mood swings????
30.May.06, 19:34 pm
Filed under: My Munchkins, Our Little Nest, Rants, Tidbits About My Life

Is the zoloft just not working anymore? I don't know why, but I cannot control my moods. I have been so angry and bitchy for the past few days and I can't change it. I've picked fights with Dale to the point that I'm ready to break up with him. I've lost my patience with my children. I've been overly critical of family and friends.

 I don't know why I'm like this lately. It's not me at all. I'm usually pretty flexible as far as my moods go, but now, I can go from zero to Ilsa-the-evil-she-bitch in about 10 seconds flat. My kids don't deserve this, Dale doesn't either (although he HAS done things that have pissed me off lately.)

 Is it too much to ask for Dale to help me out around the house when he's not at work? I don't mean everyday, or even doing that much. But having him take a turn at doing dishes? Or taking out the trash without having to be asked for 3 days? I can't lift things still. I just had surgery. It's not fun!!

My son wants to go swimming. I understand this. But I can't just up and take him without having Josie ready to go too. I don't have any Little Swimmers, and Dale's keeping a tight reign on the money we've got on hand, so I can't just go buy some without scraping together whatever I can find in the laundry today. It's not fair to let him swim if she can't also.

I'm losing it. I swear. I am at my wit's end. I just need a little break. Can someone please save me?????

The NEW, New Doctor
29.May.06, 22:48 pm
Filed under: Rants

Ok, I'm seriously getting peeved. I loved Chris Eccleston in Dr. Who this season. They're already replacing him. He was so good at it, how could anyone play him better?? He was the ninth Doctor, and now they've brought in David Tennant. I'm sure he's great and all, but I like getting used to a character being played by a single person, and hate having this switched up on me once I've really gotten into it. WHY SCIFI???? WHY BBC???

Trivial Sh!t
29.May.06, 11:37 am
Filed under: Our Little Nest, Rants

Ok, I know I’m in a bad mood today. I accept responsibility for that. But why do men have to criminalize EVERYTHING????

We slept in a little, we were up with the kids until 11:30 last night watching a movie and polishing off the last few slices of their birthday cake as a before-bedtime snack. They love night-time snacks.

When we got up, I asked Dale to run to Aldi to get a loaf of bread, some lunchmeat, and cheese for sandwiches, because I was hungry. He said, “ok, no problem.” So I got up, got dressed, and came in here to start my normal morning routine– get up, turn on brain, turn on monitor.

He proceeds to take about 20 min to get dressed and come in here to tell me that he has broken the laminate piece off of the front of the vanity in the bathroom by putting his foot in the sink to rinse it off when he found out the hard way that Paisley has had an accident in the hallway. (Dumbass, use the tub.)

Then he tells me we have about $50 more than he’d told me yesterday, he had miscounted. (Maybe Josie should help him count, she’s pretty good at it, can make it all the way to 12 on her own.) So I said, ‘do you wanna just go grab something quick for lunch?’ since he’s got an hour to eat and get ready for work. He said he would grab something cheap. I told him Sonic- if we didn’t get combos- or Subway- again, without chips or drinks- would be good. He said, “I could get Jr whoppers at BK for 99 cents.” I honestly am burgered out. I’d rather have chicken strips from Sonic or a tuna sandwich from subway. So he decided he’d rather just go to Aldi and get bread, meat and cheese. Fine.

Then, he proceeds to get all pissy and tell me, “Well, I’m sorry I’m not going to get you your subway or sonic.” I said, “FINE. Then why are you even FUCKING talking to me if you’re just going to do what you want to anyway?????”

I swear. It’s lunch, it’s not that big a deal. It’s not like he’s deciding whether or not to donate a major organ. It’s LUNCH. SANDWICHES FOR FUCK’S SAKE.

Why do ppl have to mess with me when I’m in a bad mood? You’d think he would know better by now.

Josie vs. Wolverine
28.May.06, 19:25 pm
Filed under: My Munchkins, Our Little Nest

I had a great afternoon planned. Dale's dad and step-mom were coming over for lunch. We were grilling fajita steak on the smoker outside, and then we were going to take the kids to see X-Men 3. Sounded like a good time.

We had a great lunch. We visited while Dale bbq'ed and Jim got the lawn mower to start (YAY for clean spark plugs and short grass!) I got to catch up with Jackie on family news. Then we all headed off to the theater for X3.

We wait in line for popcorn, drinks, and the required sugary grubbage. $25 later, we're heading up to our seats in the far corner of the auditorium. We watched the previews, then the movie begins, we're doing great, the kids are enthralled. All of a sudden, Josie patted my arm and whispered, "Mommy, I'm gonna throw up!" OH CRAP!

I grabbed the nearly empty popcorn bucket and held it in front of her, but she thought I was trying to get her to eat some, so she pushed it away and threw up all down the front of her dress. I think she was more upset about her pretty new dress being dirty than about being sick. I grabbed her up and we walked out to the lobby, got some papertowels from the concession, and cleaned her up. A manager spotted us there and was so helpful. He got us more papertowels, helped me get her cleaned up, and even gave me a free readmission ticket to come back and see the movie whenever I wanted. I left Jaden, Dale, and his folks in the movie and brought little princess home to get her changed and in bed. The poor little thing. I felt so bad for her.

It was then that I realized– it was probably my own fault. When I was making everyone's fajitas, I was putting sour cream on them. I think I put some on hers by mistake. Only a small drop- since I only put a small drop on Jaden's too- but she's allergic to creamy milk products!!! She can't eat ice cream, pudding, yogurt, sour cream, cottage cheese, anything like that. She's christened IHOP and Outback after incidents with a glass of chocolate milk and a hot fudge sundae. (The sundae came on the night Dale proposed to me!! What a lovely end to a romantic evening!)

My poor little sweetheart is laying in her bed, sound asleep, taking her nap. I hope she feels better now.

Why can’t my ex even ACT like he cares about the kids?
27.May.06, 23:18 pm
Filed under: My Munchkins, Our Little Nest, Rants

I understand our marriage is over. I'm the one who ended it. Simple enough. But why does he seem to think that ends his ties to his children as well??

My ex, J, didn't bother to call either one of the kids last week on their birthdays. He didn't bother to even show up for their party today. I honestly don't know why this surprises me. He did the same thing last year, only he showed up to their party for about 10 minutes, because he got to eat something, and his mom was there with his car insurance papers. He didn't call them at Christmas last year, never even got them a gift. He didn't see them from Thanksgiving until late February, by choice.

I ask him to spend time with them. I have NEVER, under ANY circumstance tried to keep the kids from him. All he does is give excuses. He's got a 1 yr old daughter with Crisco (I call her this to keep from saying "Lardass" in front of the kids all the time, since she weighs about 400 lbs and you honestly couldn't tell the entire time she was prego!) and he seems to think that since his new daughter was born, he can just walk away and forget that these kids came first. They were his children long before Crisco came along. They deserve so much more.

He knows he can't do anything to hurt me directly anymore, because I just don't give a fuck. But now he uses the children to do it. He spends NO time with them, and then he tells me I'm a bitch because Jocelyn calls Dale daddy. She started doing that on her own, because she knows who is in her life everyday and who has helped me raise her for the past 2.5 years. Dale would get up with me in the middle of the night when she was 3 months old, and hold her, and rock her while I fixed a bottle. Dale would hold her when she was teething and couldn't get to sleep and let her snuggle on his chest until she was out cold. Dale is the one who helped me to teach her to walk, and was there for her first words and steps. Dale is the one who helps me everyday with her. J, on the other hand, does NOTHING to help me, and even gripes everytime I talk to him about the fact that DHS is taking child support out of his paycheck. He should have thought about that before he THREW AWAY HIS CAREER by his own stupidity. He should have thought about how he was going to afford to help me raise the kids before he got Crisco pregnant (on my couch, no less). If she'd get up off her fat ass and get a job, they wouldn't keep getting evicted everywhere they go. But no, at 27, she still didn't have her GED when they got together. I don't care that he can't afford to support her lazy ass. It's not my problem. He should have thought about it before he unzipped his pants.

Oh well, life goes on. And my children know they are loved. They've got 2 parents here who love them, even if one isn't blood. We do the best we can to provide for them, even the little luxuries like a new bicycle and tricycle for thier birthdays, and satellite television so they can watch the evil-that-is-spongebob 24 hrs a day, and toys, and movies, and video games galore. We do our very best to let them know, that even if J isn't around much, they can always count on us, and will be well taken care of.

If you ask me, my kids seem pretty happy. I guess the upside of J not coming around much, is that it shows me that I'm a pretty strong person, and a good parent on my own, without him. My kids aren't blind, they aren't stupid. They know how he is, and someday, he'll want a relationship with them. Just like my father, he'll come back into their lives a little too late.