The Idiot’s Guide To Everyday Life

My Dad… and other crazy ppl
2.Jun.06, 14:28 pm
Filed under: Friends & Fam, Rants, Tidbits About My Life

My adoptive father was out of my life for most of it. He and my mother divorced when I was 6, and I didn't see him again for 13 years. He claims that my mother moved and hid me from him (which was true for 2 months when she first left him, but then he had visitation rights). I remember it a bit differently. I remember the last time he came to take me for the weekend. I remember his family buying me clothes and things, especially a pretty church dress, and not allowing me to take them home. I remember the weekend AFTER his last visit with me. The weekend he never showed up. I waited and waited, bag and doll in hand, sitting in the living room chair until I fell asleep and my mom put me in bed. I cried all weekend. I didn't see him again. for 13 years.

He claims my mother moved away at that point, but I remember being in the same little apartment in El Reno for another 6 months or more before we moved. My mother worked 3 jobs just to keep food on the table and pay the bills. My father paid child support all of 1 time.

My dad likes to talk about my mother, and about how bad she hurt him, about how bad she was to him, but my mother raised me and I have respect for her for that. She did it on her own for the most part, as my step-thing wasn't exactly a parent to me. I told my dad I didn't want to hear bad things said about my mother and he acted like I'd slapped him and claimed he'd never said anything of the kind. I swear, he can't remember 30 seconds before hand when he had JUST made a snide remark.

My dad is getting on my last nerve. He calls practically once a week to ask for money for cigarettes, and I won't even buy cigarettes for Dale. I finally just told him I can't afford it, which is true, and end the conversations as quickly as possible. If it were groceries he needed, I would understand. I've bought them food on more than one occasion, but he wants "cigarettes and sody pop". That's bullshit, in my book. If you want to carry on the nasty habit, you should be able to support the habit.

This is the same man who, 9 years ago, was an alcoholic, addicted to pain killers, who invited me to move to Texas with my husband, to live in the effeciency apartment building they managed until I found my own place, and then when I planned to move out on my own, padlocked my apartment and tried to steal everything I owned so they could pawn it for drugs and booze. And yet every 5 minutes I'm with him he has a new "woe is me" story. I didn't see him for 9 years after that, and just got back in contact with him 2 months ago when I ran into them in Wal-Mart by chance. He acted like nothing ever happened and that he was so glad to see me. I forgive things….. I don't forget. I'm not stupid. They claim to have cleaned up and sobered up. That means the alcohol and illegal drugs. Prescription drugs can be just as bad if not worse.

My dad wants to act like nothing happened, but I'm having trouble with that, because it's eating away at me everytime he tries to act like Father of the Year. He has tons of stories about when I was a little girl, and acts like he's always got my best interests at heart, but I know he's a selfish bastard who uses people for everything he can get, and when they're no longer useful, he distances himself until he needs them again. I don't want to be in this situation again.

I want my kids to have grandparents close-by. My mom lives almost an hour away, but I don't want to feel like this. It's very draining on my emotions and nerves. I honestly feel more relaxed when I don't hear from him for a few days. Thankfully, he's moving to MWC this weekend, so he won't be right around the corner. I think that might help things a little. Absence makes the heart grow fonder, or so they say. I think in this case, absence makes the heart grow tolerable.


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