It’s been 5 days since I ran out of zoloft. I’ve been on it for almost 3 years straight, same dosage, but my idiot doctor refuses to listen to me when I tell him it’s not helping as much anymore to try to change the dosage.
Today I felt like crying all day long. No major reason, other than my normal ones, but I saw a pic of an old flame online and my tears just came. It’s been so long since I saw him last, why would this upset me so much now?
My current reasons for being upset other than PMS:
1. I’m completely miserable in my current relationship. Dale makes me feel worthless and I’m sick of it, but I need to have my business built up or a job started before I can move out.
2. I’m broke, and I’m tired of being broke. Having to roll change to go to the store to buy tampons at midnight is not my idea of savings.
3. I wish I could get my kids to mind me better. My son is completely out-of-control, and he’s only 7. He’s a good kid, don’t get me wrong, but he just does bad things. He doesn’t listen. He looks at me and then turns around and does whatever the hell he wants and I’m ready to throw him through a wall right now.
4. I want a better life for my kids. I don’t want my example for them to be staying in a bad relationship just because I don’t have anywhere else to go.
I want to get out of here. I want to be a better person, and staying where I am isn’t helping that goal. I need to get my PC business built up to where I need it to be income-wise so I can achieve my goals. My current goal is to get sales up to about $8000+ per month. That would give me a profit of $1750, which would pay mortgage on my house in Dallas, and bills, if I scrimp and save. I can also start my apprenticiship with Tony as soon as I get down there, so that will help me immensely. That will give me 2 income sources, so my PC business will be to pay bills, and the salon work will give me the freedom to do things with my children and to fix up my house.
I think I can do it. It would require a minimum of 3.5 big sales per week, but I could do it. If I could make it to $20k in sales, the kids and I would be able to go to San Francisco in April, so I’d really like to make that. I think they’d enjoy the trip, and there’s so much to do there together. My goal is to be a director by Dec 1, so I need 5 recruits qualified by then, and then I’ll be promoted! I can do it, I know I can.
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The Idiot's Guide To Everyday Life 