The Idiot’s Guide To Everyday Life

Furniture Shopping – LOVE IT!
23.Jan.07, 21:19 pm
Filed under: Goals, Hopes, Plans, Tidbits About My Life

I blew off everyday life today and went window shopping with Lupita. Directions in Furniture is having a Going Out of Business Sale, so I thought we should check it out. She found this awesome purple loveseat, and a bright orange loveseat, and a round ottoman that was beige with purple, orange, and ash green circles all over it that would look so cute in a contemporary living room. Problem is, her house is anything but contemporary.

Lupita has the most beautiful home. It’s been in mid-renovation for years, but it’ll be absolutely beautiful when it’s finally done. It’s getting to the point in the kitchen that you can really begin to see what the finished product will look like and I love it. Her home just has a very cozy feel to it that makes you want to stop and take a nap. She has a fireplace in the living room, and french doors that open onto a sun porch which gives a nice view of their pool. She has turned the front den into her office – she’s my Pampered Chef director – and knocked down a wall to turn her old office room into a cozy little formal dining room. A Tiffany lamp shade found at a sale gives a really rustic feel to the kitchen table, and the sage green walls with cream cabinets make you think of herbs and garden life.

Someday, I dream of having a home like that. For now, I’d settle for a 2 bedroom apartment with enough room for me and my kids, and of course, washer/dryer hookups. I did find a bed I liked today, which was a discontinued item, so it was on sale for $199. I put some money down to hold it, and plan to go back to get it when the tax money comes in. Every piece of furniture in this house right now is mine except for the bed, but I plan to leave the living room furniture for Dale, because a) it’s falling apart and I hate it and b) we barely got it IN the house, I’m not about to attempt to get it out the front door. I’m now going to attempt to find something else that’s reasonable, even if it’s used. This stuff was used when I bought it 3 years ago, I paid $400 for it, and it’s held up so far. He can have his damned recliners. I just want a loveseat and 2 chairs. That’s it.

Hopefully I’ll come up with something reasonable between now and the time I move out. I’ve decided I’m getting a storage unit here until I move. I’ve got to give myself 2-3 months to get stable on a different job because substitute teaching doesn’t pay for squat. I’ll never be able to get a lease with that as income. I really hope I find something soon.


22.Jan.07, 22:33 pm
Filed under: Goals, Hopes, Plans, Tidbits About My Life

I have decided to channel all of my anger and frustration and creative energy into a book. I have thought about writing my own book for a while, but just never sat down and started. This is the day I stop procrastinating on my goals.

I’ll post chapters here as I write them. As yet, I have no title, but I will work on it. The book will be a fiction novel, obviously, with a little bit of romance, humor, and just enough bad days in her life to get some of my frustrations out. I have the plot planned out in my head, but am still working on some of the details, so I’ll be doing some research as I go and working out the kinks.

 When I post chapters they’ll be in rough format, so don’t be shocked! I’m not a professional. Wish me luck.

Oh What a Beautiful Morning
22.Jan.07, 17:05 pm
Filed under: Rants, Tidbits About My Life

Oh What a CRAPPY Day.

Last night I tried to put my kids to bed at 8pm, since today was their first day back to school since the ice storm, and I was supposed to teach kindergarten today, so I was going to be going to bed early myself after a hot shower and a cool-down in front of the TV for Brothers & Sisters at 9. Of course, that didn’t go over too well. At 11, I”m still griping at them to get their butts in bed and have given out swats to both. My daughter finally goes in her room and starts bawling about how I’m so unfair and she thought I was her best friend (she’s only 3 1/2 and is the biggest drama princess I know). She cried so hard she made herself throw up all over her bed. Lovely.

We cleaned her up and changed out her bedding, and put her back in her bed. Then, I finished the last 5 minutes of my show, and went to bed. At that point I started feeling nauseous and chilled. I made my way to my room, and managed not to hurl, and had Dale go find me a Phenergan. That worked enough to take away the dizzy waves and knocked me out. He stayed up till around 2ish and watched TV before coming to bed.

Half an hour later, Josie woke up coughing to hard she threw up in her bed again. I was seriously dizzy from the Phenergan and such so Dale cleaned her up and put her in bed with us. I told him I’d need him to take Jaden to school in the morning, he said ‘fine’ and rolled over and went to sleep.

8am. No alarm has gone off. I assume Dale didn’t understand that when I said I’d need him to take Jaden to school that I actually meant I’d need him to take Jaden to school.I was still groggy and dizzy from my Phenergan, it takes me several hours to recover from the side effects once I’m actually awake after I take one. Dale’s response is, “I’m tired. It’s not going to hurt him to miss one day of school. I need some more sleep before work.”

OK, let’s examine the facts here: Jaden just missed an entire week of school due to a horrific ice storm that caused school to be cancelled. Dale stayed up until 2am of his own volition as he’s done repeatedly for the past few weeks, causing him to be a lazy, thoughtless bastard in the mornings when his Mommy comes to pick him up and drive him to work. (Thank Buddah she’s on vacation all week!) I refuse to feel sorry for him for shit he does to himself. Yes, I’m taking the day off work. I cannot take Josie to the daycare when she’s throwing up, which she does often, and I’m still too loopy to drive at this point due to the after-effects of the Phenergan from the night before.

Dale’s reply: “Enjoy your FUCKING day off!”

Adult. REALLY Adult.

Now he doesn’t understand why I’m pissed off. Go figure. I’m seriously sick of it.

Note to my readers: Please don’t expect me to feel sorry for you when you do things to yourselves and can’t handle the consequences the next morning. I have enough shit to deal with.

20.Jan.07, 23:21 pm
Filed under: Rants, Tidbits About My Life

Why is it that a man and a woman can be in the same room and see everything in a totally different way? Especially when it concerns their relationship?

For the past six months I’ve tried to forgive and forget, but it’s tearing me up inside. He cheated. That fact isn’t going to go away. He thinks it’s all over and done with. He’s moved on, and he just expected that I had too. Unfortunately, it’s a hell of a lot easier for the cheater to move on than the cheatee.

I came out and told him tonight that I had been planning to move out when the tax money comes in. He looked at me like I’d hit him with a buick. “I thought things were getting better between us,” he said. “I thought we’d moved on from the whole cheating thing,” he said. “No,” I said, “YOU moved on. Things were better for YOU.” Meanwhile I’m miserable. He just doesn’t get it. He sees things through his own little telescope: Happy and sunny with no problems except finances. I see myself locked away in my room reading for hours on end so I don’t have to be in the same room with him unless we’re ignoring each other on our computers or watching television.

Indifference can be a many-splendored thing when you’re broke and don’t have a way to move out on your own. I simply stopped. I didn’t stop one thing, I stopped EVERYTHING. I stopped trying to be the emotional support system his mother always was. I quit trying to compete with his mother for a place in his life. I’ll never win. I quit trying to be a person as far as he’s concerned. All I’ll ever be is a crutch. He wants a woman who will cook and clean and coddle for him, like his mommy always did, and he wants sex. I quit that a LONG time ago. I just quit.

I’m tired of it all. I’m tired of having to fake sympathy for him when he stays up until 2 or 3am on his fucking video games and then feels like he has a hangover when he has to get up for work the next morning. I’m tired of having to fake feelings when he wants to snuggle up next to me when he’s finally finished playing on those damn video games. I’m tired of pretending that I’m happy. I’m not. NOT AT ALL.

From now on, I’m going to be me. Honest, direct, bitchy-to-a-fault ME. If he doesn’t like it, la-de-frikkin-da. I’m sick of rolling over. He’s going to KNOW I’m not happy. And when he acts like he has no clue why I’m upset (which he generally has no clue anyway… just him) I’m not going to hold back. I’ll be completely honest. I CAN’T STAND THE SIGHT OF YOU AND YOUR LYING ASS ANYMORE.

Maybe the truth really will set me free.

I read entirely too fast
20.Jan.07, 11:46 am
Filed under: Tidbits About My Life

Since Christmas Eve, I’ve read 9 books. I would have read more, but I’ve stopped reading for a while to work on my computer a little. The night before Christmas Eve I went to Barnes & Noble in Norman and bought 2 new books by James Patterson. I started reading one of them about 9:30 – 10 that night and ended up reading until 3am and finished the book that night. An entire novel, one night. Ugh. I finished the other book, Cross, in a day and a half. That’s about my average – a day and a half to two days. I finished the entire 10-book Sword of Truth series by Terry Goodkind in 8 weeks. Four years ago, I finished the entire Harry Potter series, at the time, in a month. Since then, I’ve read each new installment in 2 days as they come out. I’ve bought 5 new books since Christmas, and I’ve read them all. I’ve stooped to reading Dale’s scifi/fantasy books because I’m out of books to read and I am broke. When tax money comes in – by 02/02/07 they said!- I’m going to go to B&N and seriously stock up. I can’t handle not having anything else to read. As for one of my favorite authors – why hasn’t Dan Brown written anything new in a while??? I know, The Da Vinci Code was a big hit and all, but come on, man! Dont’ leave us hanging! I need fresh pages! And Terry Goodkind – Bring on book #11 already! I’ve waited long enough. This extra year BS has got to go. And JK Rowling – Get off your duff and finish the last one. Or, correction, get back ON your duff and finish the last one. Your fans understand you have a life too, but hey, those of us who have no lives need reading material. I am seriously in need of a library card- but I never return books, so I’m not going to do that. I would end up with 20 of them in my living room for a year and would never take them back. I’d have fines coming out of my ears. Maybe I’ll just have to break down and do it.

It’s tax time again
18.Jan.07, 23:02 pm
Filed under: Goals, Hopes, Plans, Tidbits About My Life

Finally, after checking daily for the W-2 to be uploaded, we got Dale’s in tonight. I just filed our taxes for 2006, literally 3 minutes ago, and we’re getting twice what I thought we’d get– nearly $6000!!!!!! I’m going to be able to put a down pymt on my car!!! I’m so excited!!!! And it should be direct deposited into my bank acct within 10-16 days, so hopefully, with it being the middle of January, we’ll get it pretty quick. Dale says he wants to upgrade his computer- I don’t care, but I’m getting the pedestals for my washer and dryer, we’re paying bills, and we’re putting money down on a car for me. I’m sick of this 1 vehicle shit and not being able to fit all 4 of us in the truck. A family of 4 cannot get around in a chevy s10. It’s a freakin law of physics.

Maybe I can use part of the money to move out finally. I’m ready to be gone. I’m beyond ready. And then I can get on my own two feet. This may just turn out to be a great thing!

Bring on the HEAT!
16.Jan.07, 23:17 pm
Filed under: My Munchkins, Our Little Nest, Tidbits About My Life

I haven’t left the house since last Friday- the better part of a week already. We haven’t had school all week, and won’t be having it again tomorrow. I finally dug out the truck today. We had at least 3 inches of ICE – not snow, ICE – on top of it, and on the walk, and on the front porch. Luckily ice breaks up into chunks easier than show does, so I just went out and hit it with a hammer and it would break enough to scrape off the truck, and I used the point of the shovel on the front porch and steps and it broke it up enough to shovel it off. No, I didn’t actually hit the truck with the hammer, I angled it just enough to only hit the top of the lower layer of ice. Once I had the hood and most of the outer crust of ice off of the truck the engine and defroster had worked enough to help break up the lower layers so I could scrape them off. The huge sheet covering the top of the cab all came off in one fell swoop!

My son’s favorite pass-time this weekend has been to have be tie a garbage bag around his butt and slide down the back hill on the ice with his friends. They were just sliding down on their pants, and he looked at me weird when I suggested a trash bag, but hey, they slide! And it keeps his pants from getting soaked-through, thus him getting pneumonia and me having to miss even more teaching.

I had four days out of five scheduled to teach this week, so this is going to take another big bite out of my income, but they can’t keep school closed forever, so I know I’ll be back to work soon. I’ve got the majority of this month scheduled, plus some computer jobs I’m working on at home in the meantime, so hopefully it’ll all pull together.

My daughter is really starting to get this stubborn streak. She didn’t get it when she was 2, but 3 1/2 is really kicking in. The red hair is coming through loud and clear now! And when I get on to her for something, the waterworks start up and her favorite lines are, ‘I thought you were my best friend!’ or ‘I thought I was cute?’. Yeah, she’s cute. She’s adorable. No amount of cute is going to get her out of some of her recent antics. I’m not even going to go into them right now, I don’t have the patience, and I am in dire need of hot cocoa with marshmallows.

Time for fleece blankets and goose-down comforters!!