The Idiot’s Guide To Everyday Life

That old Blah feeling
22.May.07, 23:13 pm
Filed under: Tidbits About My Life

I feel beige. I don’t know how else to describe it. I feel nothing really. Stuck in a rut, needing a break, a diversion from the monotony that is my life right now.

I have no energy, no motivation, and I just need to get moving again. The ex is supposed to be taking the kids this weekend, but his definition of weekend doesn’t seem to mean keeping them for 24 hours or more. I’m tired of this. He has never taken them for a full weekend to give me a real break. If he picks them up at 6:30 on Friday, he drops them off at 4:30 or 5pm on Saturday. Give me a break, people! I need to breathe too!! His excuse? He has “things to do”. So do I, and I take care of our children everyday despite those “things”.

I think it’s time to put my foot down. If he’s going to have them for the weekend, it’s going to be the WEEKEND. Friday night through Sunday evening. That’s the visitation schedule, that’s how it’s going to go. I’ve kept a journal of each time he’s taken the kids. He’s had them for a visit a whopping 4 times in the past 6 months (and I’m giving him credit for his mom taking them for Christmas and him showing up there, as well as the 6 hours they had them on Easter). Before that, the last time he saw them was last July, when the issue with Crisco’s son happened. After that, I stopped caring about him seeing them. At least with me I know they’re safe. Now that the brat is no longer an issue, he can spend as much time as he wants with them, because his mother is there to make sure nobody would harm them.

I guess I just need a chance to let loose for a while. Not really do anything special, but just be by myself. I haven’t done that in a long time. Maybe this weekend will give me the chance.


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