The Idiot’s Guide To Everyday Life


Make up your damn mind.
29.Nov.07, 15:38 pm
Filed under: Plans, Rants

Everytime we have an argument Dale reminds me that at anytime he could call his Mommy and have me and my children thrown out on the street. He’s such an adult.

Sunday when we fought, he told me he’d give me until the end of the school year to get my own place. I didn’t go into specifics on why I needed until then, but he agreed to it. Today, of course, when we had another tiff, he brought up his usual threat and told me to be looking for my place asap, and I’d better be out within a month after I have my own vehicle and job. He told me that since money was my main problem that I wouldn’t have to pay bills here the last month before I moved. I told him flat out, if he was kicking me out, I wasn’t going to pay another dime toward his bills. They are all in his name anyway. To this, he retaliated by saying that if I wasn’t going to pay the bills, I couldn’t use the stove or refrigerator anymore. I told him my name is on the lease here, he can’t kick me out yet. His mother could evict me from the house if she chose to, but it’d take a judge to sign off on the eviction and order me out, which would take a month or more.

 He eventually calmed down and said I could wait another month or two, until early April. At this point I began showing him my reasoning behind waiting until May. I’m moving out of state. I’m not staying here. There is no job market in Oklahoma City, especially if you don’t have a degree. In order for me to move, I am going to have to save up quite a bit for first and last month’s rent and a deposit on an apt, utility deposits, and money for food, gas, bills and necessities until I can get a job and get on my feet after I move.

In order for me to save that amount, I’m going to have to work for at least 3 to 4 months and not touch a dime of my cs/a money. December is pretty much shot since we still need to shop for Christmas. January is at least halfway shot because I have to pay for the repairs and parts and insurance on the vehicle I’m trying to acquire. So starting the end of January, early February I’ll actually be able to start saving. If I save for three months, that already puts me in mid to late April.

If I take Jaden out of school at the beginning of the last month of school, he’s going to be completely lost in a new place. He’s in Special Ed. He has severe ADHD. The teachers and principal at his school know him because he’s been there since Kindergarten. They know how to deal with him. They work with me on his behavior issues. Yes, he’s got an IEP that lays out how we are going to work with him on educational issues, but these people KNOW him. A new school wouldn’t. Plus, it would take time for a new school to be able to assess him and know what he is capable of. There’s no way he’d be able to go to a new school for the last month of the school year and survive. They’d throw him into a regular classroom and expect him to work at their level. That’s not fair to him. If I allow him to finish out the school year in a familiar environment, he’ll have the entire summer to be tested and assessed and to prepare to start school in a new place.

If I’m waiting until April anyway, why can’t he just give me one more month? We’ve lived together for 4 years, so I don’t see what waiting until the kids finish school would hurt on his part.

His reason for wanting me out faster: his planned roommate, who is 38 and has been living with his parents for 2+ years, is looking for his own place, and he is afraid he would get into a lease and not be able to move in here with him, so he’d be stuck having to pay the rent and bills here on his own. He should have thought about that before he decided to kick me out. My first priority is my children.

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