The Idiot’s Guide To Everyday Life

The Boy Who Cried Marriage
14.May.09, 22:52 pm
Filed under: Tidbits About My Life

I love my dear Pete. He is the man I was made for. He is gentle and kind, passionate and intelligent, sensitive and yet still masculine. He is perfect for me. Peter has never been married, never had children, but wants to marry me and take on my children as his own.

Be that as it may… it’s not as if he’s never come close to marriage. My darling has been engaged not once….. not twice….. but three times. His parents have seen him go through many long term relationships with girls that just never seem to work out. Each of the three times he proclaimed “She’s the ONE!” they have gotten their hopes up for him, only to see it end bitterly, with one or both of them distraught. That being said, Peter has never been the one to end an engagement. He’s always been prepared to see it through, even though he admits that they weren’t the right girl, after the fact.

When my love returned home to the UK, his parents seemed excited and happy to see him, excited to hear of his travels and generally happy for us, that things had gone so well. Now, a month later, the truth has come out. They’re not happy. Granted, they’ve never met me, they’ve never seen us together. They have told him that he is selfish for planning to get married next year when they are planning later next year to go to Chile, and it would be a burden on them to have to make two trips in the same year. They treat our engagement as though it isn’t real, telling him he is being too rash and not thinking things through. In the end…. it’s like the boy who cried wolf, only in this case, the big pointy teeth belonged to the ghosts of fiancee’s past, and each time he’s been engaged only to have it called off in the end.

My family adored Peter. My mother couldn’t be happier with us getting married – she just hopes we live here and not in England because she doesn’t want to be away from her grandchildren. My mom and I spent Mother’s Day afternoon window shopping online for dresses for her to wear to the wedding and playing with a tape measure and some lycra to see if she could cut a few inches off in the process (GO MOM!). A complete 180 from the reaction I expected from her, but I’m liking it!

His mother has expressed her fear of getting to know me only to have him decide it’s a mistake. He says he knows it’s not a mistake. I believe it’s not a mistake. I believe I love this man more than myself, that I adore him, and live and breathe to be with him. The question is: How is it that the people who have known him since before birth, who are supposed to know him better than anyone else on earth, can not see on his face that this love is real? Do they know something that I don’t? Should I be more concerned than I am?

Please don’t misunderstand, I don’t doubt my relationship with my beloved. He is everything to me. I am simply concerned at his parents’ reactions. I expected a bit of shock, but not the hostility he seems to be encountering. I understand that a parent just wants what is best for their child and for them to be happy. And yes, being engaged 3 times only to have it cancelled may seem fickle – but he’s also 38 years old. He’s had plenty of time to get married, and simply knows he only wants to do it once, so he’s not done it when it’s not been right.

I just can’t help wondering – should their reaction be a red flag, or simply taken with a grain of salt (accompanied by a large margarita)? I don’t believe my betrothed would lead me on and then change his mind. I am solid in that belief. Am I right to be this certain when the two people closest to him on the planet aren’t?


2 Comments so far
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The two people closest to me also still think I want to be an astronaut when I grow up. They still think if left on my own I would never wash any clothes, and only eat cheeseburgers… The two people closest to me have a habit of being VERY VERY wrong.
You are my baby, and I will marry you because you are the one. You are my One.

Comment by eggplantinspace

seems to me he has cried wolf so many times his parents just figure that is what this is this time also. Kinda like George from Seinfeld. They won’t believe it till it happens. I say just continue and don’t think about their feelings on this. It’s your happiness and his that matters not pleasing others.

Comment by atraice

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