The Idiot’s Guide To Everyday Life

A-moving we shall go
11.Oct.08, 20:53 pm
Filed under: Goals, Hopes, My Munchkins, Our Little Nest, Tidbits About My Life, Work

So tonight makes one week that I’ve been in the new apartment, and I’m loving it. I don’t have to deal with Dale at all. The kids and I cook dinner and eat together at the table every night then we clean up and do the dishes, before the kids take turns on who goes first taking their baths. I’m 2 miles from my mother and, in the other direction, a mile and a half from work. I have 2 grocery stores between here and work, and a branch office of my bank next to both of them. My children’s school is half a block away. The school has a Latchkey program that the kids get to stay at in lieu of daycare until I get off work that is cheaper than regular daycare, and they love it. We’re mostly unpacked, just a few boxes left to go through and a few minor things at the old house to pick up tomorrow, but it’s all coming together nicely. I even have new RED furniture!!! It’s so pretty!

I started my new job 2 1/2 weeks ago. I’m the paralegal for the Law Center of Oklahoma. It’s absolutely amazing!! I love what I do, and it’s the job I’ve always wanted. This is what I’ve been going to school for, and the experience I get here will help me get an even better job years down the road when I’ve finished school and decided where I want to spend the rest of my life. Life is going so well for us right now.

And then of course there’s the wonderful man in my life. Right now it’s a long-distance relationship, but we do the best we can, talking several times a day, and chatting all night. He’s the best thing to happen to me in a very long time. He makes me want to be a better me. He inspires me everyday to try harder and to be a better person, a better mother to my children, and a better employee at work. He brings out the best in me in so many ways. He’s so special. I truly adore him.

I will have a good life. I know this. I believe it. Things are working out for my children and I, and I will make them work, because I know that this is MY life now, I am not depending on ANYONE else, I am only relying on ME now, and I’m going to give us a great future.


Just Breathe… it will all be over soon.
28.Nov.07, 09:08 am
Filed under: Hopes, My Munchkins, Our Little Nest, Rants

This weekend was a bit chaotic. Thanksgiving was also Dale’s birthday. He had to work so he planned to have friends over on Saturday. Not a problem. I knew there would be alcohol involved so I took the kids and spent the night at my mom’s.

I came home on Sunday a little past noon to find Dale and Derek in the living room, so hungover they still couldn’t turn the lights on, playing video games. My mop bucket was sitting in the middle of the living room floor, which I found odd. Dale explained that Derek had already gotten sick once because he was so drunk, so he’d cleaned him up and left the bucket there in case he did it again. Disgusting.

Apparently Derek was the only friend of his who bothered to show up – typical. Between the two of them they polished off an entier 5th of Cuervo Black Medallion, Seagram’s 7, and who knows what else. Knowing how bad it affects my asthma, Dale also decided it wouldn’t be a big deal if they smoked in the house all night. It reeked. I could barely breathe when I walked in the door, and the kids hated it.

For the life of him, Dale couldn’t understand why I was in a bad mood. By 8 o’clock that evening, he was still hung over, still couldn’t understand why I couldn’t just “calm down and get over it”. He started a pity party saying, ‘This is why I can’t have friends over, because you get pissed and throw a fit.” As though his own actions had nothing to do with me being upset!!!

I have to live here too. I don’t like having to cough and sputter just to sit in the living room. I don’t like my children having to live with that smoke still lingering in the house. His mother can be a disgusting chimney if she wants to be in her house, I won’t have it in mine. That’s one of the reasons I don’t go over there!

We ended up getting into a huge screaming match over that and many other issues, but of course it was just me being a bitch in his eyes. It couldn’t have anything to do with the fact that he’s a selfish asshole who thinks of nobody else, especially if there’s alcohol to be had. If he’s drunk, he just uses it as an excuse. “I didn’t want to disturb the neighbors by being loud if I went outside since we were drunk”. As loud as the volume was turned up on the speakers on my computer, he was probably already disturbing them from inside the house. It had nothing to do with the neighbors. He just didn’t want to step outside in the cold. He wanted to be a drunk, lazy bastard. He just used being drunk as an excuse all over again. As though it should excuse that he fucked up. It doesn’t.

Just 6 more months. I can hold out 6 more months for the sake of my kids so I can save up the money to move out. I can survive this.

What to do?
19.Nov.07, 12:31 pm
Filed under: My Munchkins, Our Little Nest, Rants

Before school began I bought Jaden a nice pair of Skechers. He wore then ONCE and lost one of them. He had an older pair of shoes, still in decent shape. I told him he would wear them until they either fell apart or he found the new ones. He then proceeded to destroy the old ones a little at a time. By the beginning of last week, the soles were flopping from them as he’d walk, and he never tied them so the laces were dragging everywhere, and he wouldn’t even wear socks with them. He did this to earn sympathy from the teachers and staff at school. Apparently it worked.

Thursday he came home with a new pair of shoes and a bag of socks that 2 of his teachers had bought for him.

I was completely embarrassed. It’s not that I won’t buy my son new things when he needs them. It’s a matter of principle. I’m trying to get him to learn the value of what he’s given and to respect his belongings, and to respect me. If he’s simply handed new things everytime he loses or destroys something, what lesson is he learning? Not everything in life is disposable. You have to take care of what you have or you don’t deserve new things. It’s not that I couldn’t afford them. I just didn’t buy them because I wanted him to find the ones I spent good money on in the first place.

Jaden obviously told his teachers I was embarrassed by the situation. This morning, I received an email from one of the teachers who bought the shoes. He said, ‘Angela, don’t be embarrassed by the shoes. We were just trying to help out, because we know you’re going to school and trying to make a better life for your kids. Things are hard, and we’ve been there. We also put your kids on the Christmas list for another class. We’re glad to help.”

This just adds to the problem. I replied, and explained the situation. Jaden has got to learn that he can’t get away with this lying and manipulation. I’m at my wit’s end with him. The teacher replied and apologized for not asking me before he bought the shoes, he didn’t know the situation. I completely understood there, and I appreciated them being kind and thoughtful for their students, but at the same time, he had a talk with Jaden and let him know that we will be in contact daily via email and he cannot continue to lie to us. Hopefully together we can put enough pressure on him to help change his current behavior patterns.

I’ve tried talking to him, yelling at him, grounding, giving extra chores, spanking, taking away privileges, taking away sports, cancelling outings and activities he wanted to go on. NOTHING helps. I don’t know what to do anymore. His father has nothing to do with us, so it’s not like he’s got a dad to help drill the need for self responsibility into his head. I just don’t know what else to do. I need something drastic to make him listen for once in his life. 2 years ago I tried making him spend a night in the local youth shelter to see what happens to kids when their parents can’t control them. Problem was, they had an xbox and movie night. He saw it as a vacation. I don’t know anything else to try. I won’t send my kid away. I won’t be my mother. I just need help.

Summer flew by so fast
27.Jul.07, 18:42 pm
Filed under: My Munchkins, Our Little Nest, Tidbits About My Life

I can’t believe it’s almost time for the kids to go back to school. Three weeks from now my little princess will be starting “pre-clowndergarten” for the first time. She’s got a Hello Kitty backpack, and several new outfits, and new shoes, and all of her school supplies  – it was WW3 trying to get her to stay out of the play-doh until Bryan bought her some she could play with at home. She said she didn’t want to go to Clowndergarten because she isn’t clown, but she said she’d go to pre-clowndergarten, so I guess we’re ok.

Jaden will be going into 3rd grade. I’m so proud of my little man. I remember when he was born and was so tiny. The nurses would take him out of the incubator wrapped in a towel for us to hold. Blankets engulfed him. He weighed only 4 lbs, and I always worried I’d break him. He’s now 4’1″ and weighs 50 lbs, and has a head made out of solid granite. He’s going to be taller than me before he’s a teenager, and he’s so very smart. I know he’s going to do great things in his life.

I am very lucky to have two such amazing children. They are my entire world. I hope this schoolyear brings as many blessings as it does challenges, and I hope that they can both learn to their full potential. Life really does seem brighter through their eyes, and I hope they never lose that spark.

I now bequeath to thee…
10.Jul.07, 17:53 pm
Filed under: Friends & Fam, Our Little Nest, Tidbits About My Life

Now that the divorce is final, it’s time to update my will. I don’t have much to leave to anyone other than my life insurance policy, which goes to my children. I guess the only hard question is, if I die, who do I want to raise my children?

I know I don’t want the ex to raise my kids. I don’t agree with the disgusting lifestyle choices he’s making, and I certainly don’t want Crisco anywhere near the kids, much less to have a hand in raising them. Look at how HER brat has turned out. I also know that there isn’t a single person in my family that I would trust whole-heartedly with my children. The person I had chosen, my best friend, is now having health problems and cannot be the first person in line to care for them. She will still be the alternate, but I need a stable, trustworthy person, who would love them as though they were their own and care for them the way I believe they should be. I want that person to hold similar ideals in parenting that I do, and believe that a child should be able to express themself to their utmost ability while still respecting those around them.

This is a hard decision, and really puts into perspective the relationships you have with those around you. I hope that I can come to a decision soon, as you never know what hand fate will deal to you, or what waits around the corner.

Red-faced Ballerina
28.Apr.07, 19:11 pm
Filed under: My Munchkins, Our Little Nest

My beautiful princess is sick today. I had to go pay a bill in Norman yesterday before I picked up the kids from daycare and when I got home I found 5 calls on the caller ID – the daycare called, and within 10 minutes, my mom, Dale’s mom, Jeff’s mom and Jeff had all called me to find out what was going on. Apparently when they didn’t reach me on the first ring, the daycare called everyone on my contact list.

 Josie had a fever of 102.2 all evening. I gave her Motrin and a cool bath and liquids. She seemed to do better for about an hour, and then went to lay down in Jaden’s room and watch cartoons. About 10:15 she threw up again. Another bath and then I curled her up in my lap in the living room. I paged the pediatrician who told me to give Motrin AND Tylenol at once and then to give her Emetrol for the nausea. I did that, and 10 minutes later she threw up all three. Lovely. At least she went to sleep after I cleaned her up again.

7am this morning she woke up crying louder than last night. I felt her head and she was burning up. She looked really pink in the face but nowhere else. I figured it was the fever and didn’t think much of it, so I took her temp and it was up to 103.4. I got her dressed and took her to the ER down the street – probably the worst hospital in town other than Southwest – and they did a strep culture and a chest xray. She was diagnosed with both strep throat and bronchitis and they said she probably has asthma now, just like her brother and I do. Jaden was diagnosed with asthma when he was her age, so it makes sense. They gave her a breathing treatment and sent the pediatric mask home with me so she can use it with my nebulizer if she needs another treatment.

We came home and slept until noonish. The poor little thing was so sick and just cried and snuggled up to me. Her face kept getting redder and redder. I eventually got scared that it could have been an allergy to the penacillin that the ER prescribed for her, so I paged the pediatrician. I thought it was weird that she didn’t have the redness anywhere other than her face. I thought it even weirder that she had no symptoms before Friday evening.

The pediatrician said that he didn’t trust the strep test from the Moore ER. I hate that hospital, so I tend to side with our doc. He told me it sounded more like a virus he’s been seeing that is causing acute-onset bronchitis and one of the symptoms is a flushed face. He told me not to worry about the pennicillin, and to keep giving it to her. She probably doesn’t have strep, just a sore throat with all of the drainage, and that it’s more than likely the virus we’ll just have to wait out.

Dale’s dad and step-mom brought the kids’ birthday presents over today because they’re going on their annual vacation and won’t be here for most of May. Josie got a beautiful ballerina dress-up costume with satin slippers and everything. She HAD to put them on right then. My poor little ballerina had a red face to go with her pink costume. I hope she gets better soon.

12.Apr.07, 10:30 am
Filed under: My Munchkins, Our Little Nest
Thirteen Things about Being a Single Parent

1. You get the majority of the hugs & kisses all to yourself.

2. You are there for all of the special moments that touch your heart.

3. You have to deal with the bills and headaches on your own too.

4. Discipline is harder when you feel guilty because the other parent ignores them.

5. Hearing them say “I Love You, Mom” has SO much more meaning.

6. You feel bad when you don’t have the extra cash for book fairs, ice cream cones, or everyday little requests.

7. Going to the grocery store requires a baby sitter or a lion tamer.

8. Locking the bathroom door to take a bath is considered “a break”.

9. You wonder how any parent could simply not want to be involved in their child’s life.

10. You realize that no matter how much love you give them, it doesn’t make up for the other parent not spending time with them.

11. You still keep giving them all the love you can, and hope they understand.

12. Eventually, they stop asking for him.

13. You cherish everyday, knowing that when they’re older, they WILL understand.

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