The Idiot’s Guide To Everyday Life

Boutonnière, and other words I can’t spell…
5.Nov.09, 17:43 pm
Filed under: Wedding

I’m knee-deep in wedding magazines and swatches and photos of flowers, and music selections.

No, I’m not living out a lifelong dream of becoming an event coordinator. I’m trying to plan my wedding to my true love. This is a bigger job than I originally imagined, and while fun, can also be all-consuming. No matter what I’m doing, I can see something wedding related in it. (I just LOVE the font on that invoice… maybe I can incorporate it into the invitations somehow?) I’m pretty sure I’m going to drive the people at work to the other side of insane before too long.

That being said, I’ve discovered my creative side all over again, and I’m learning that when I want to be, I can be a little bit of a craft snob. I went to Hobby Lobby to find some nice, cream colored silk tulips. And when I got there, their fake flower supplies in white or cream were all just a bit too…. well…. fake. They looked awful. You could see the threads on the edges, they were paper thin, nothing like a real tulip. I was near tears when I got home. Deflated. Kinda like that tulip.


So now I’m contemplating what to do. I found some gorgeous silks online, but they’re expensive. (Peonies or Royal tulips are about $20 for 6 stems, and Dutch tulips are $25 for 6!!!) I could do my own bouquet easily, but what about 10 guest tables, as well as 2 bridesmaid bouquets, and the boutonnieres and corsages for 2 mothers, a grandmother, and a great-grandmother? That’s a lot of flowers!!!

All in all… I’m trying to stretch our budget just a little bit further, so we can have a gorgeous wedding and reception, without tearing my hair out in the process. Any ideas from anyone else out there??


If only for a moment
11.Oct.09, 21:46 pm
Filed under: Tidbits About My Life

For six weeks we were a family. A real family. My wonderful man, my Peter, my Beepooh (don’t ask), was here and made our family complete. And now he’s gone again for another wait.

I know you hear cheesy people talk about the one who “completes them” and roll your eyes. Yeah, I’m not one of those, I promise. But there has been a gaping hole in our family for far too long. There has been a gaping hole in my life for as long as I can remember, and he fits perfectly into that space.

He is wonderful with my children. He teaches them things I don’t even know. He makes me stop to appreciate their points of view when I lose my temper and want to lose control on them. He gives us structure, he makes me think about the bigger picture. He makes me a better mother by showing me what he sees as someone coming in from the outside. He fits so naturally into our lives. It’s not a struggle, it’s not a fight, it’s just right.

Sometimes, when you’re starting out in a relationship the person seems like a stranger when you first spend time together. And though we’ve been together for more than a year, we live 5000 miles apart, and haven’t spent that much time together in person. Still, I’ve never once felt like I didn’t know him completely. He is like the best friend I’ve known all my life. When we’re together, we flow. We know what each other is thinking. We can talk for hours about the most moronic of topics and still just laugh and laugh, each of us bouncing ideas off of the other until we’re so tired we can’t keep our eyes open.

I had to say goodbye to my love tonight. I took him to the airport and dropped him off, and cried my eyes out all over again. It doesn’t get easier with time. It gets harder. Each time I have to say goodbye I’ve had just a little more time to know that this is the man I want to be with. This is the man I want to spend the rest of my life with. This is the man I want to help me raise my children. And each time I let him go, he takes just a little more of my heart with him. I know I’ll have him back in 8 months if all goes according to plan. (I wish weddings and visas weren’t so expensive.)  I know that in time this will seem like nothing of a wait. But right now, it’s tearing me apart.

Peter, please come home soon. You’re loved and needed here.

Moving right along
4.Oct.09, 21:27 pm
Filed under: Tidbits About My Life

Driving an hour to work and back everyday, plus tolls and fuel, didn’t sit well with me. The fact that I lived in the ghetto where they shoot people across the street was even more of a nightmare. A week of solid packing, 2 professional movers and half a bottle of Aleve later, we’re now living in a two bedroom apartment on the North side of OKC, ten minutes from my new office!

Peter has so lovingly agreed to stay an additional two weeks to help with the transition. Mostly, I just didn’t want to let him go, but I also wanted him to spend our first night in our new home together. This is where he will come back to. This is where we will live as husband and wife when he returns. I didn’t want to go to a new place without him. So we did some adjusting and he’ll be staying here until next Sunday.

So let me tell you about the place: 2 bed/2 bath, with a laundry room and a full-sized washer and dryer. It’s a tiny bit smaller than my last apartment as far as storage space goes, but larger in square footage if you include the laundry room and the fact that the Master bath is a full, not a half. (I heart personal showers!) The closet isn’t a walk-in, which is a disappointment, but it’ll work. It’s much nicer than the old place all-around.

The complex I live in is quite big – 890 units total. There are 6 pools, 2 of which are indoor with attached hot tubs. Free tanning beds, a huge gym, complete with aerobics room, a theater room that seats 21, and lighted tennis courts. It’s a gated community, with 24hr courtesy patrol. It seems pretty nice so far, though they messed up and put me in an upstairs when I was assured I was getting a downstairs unit. Peter is happy with the upstairs, he likes the balcony. Looks like I’m going to have to get used to hiking up and down the stairs, and I’m going to need to invest in a little table for the balcony so he can sit out there and have his morning coffee.

It’s really going to be a home! Not just a house, not just an apartment… but OUR home. Now if we can just start getting rid of some of these boxes.

The winds of change keep a’blowing…
4.Sep.09, 21:18 pm
Filed under: Tidbits About My Life

So life has been moving along at a steady pace. Work got completely out of control, and the lying bitch finally got her boyfriend to fire me. Oh well, I was already looking for another job. The thing that pissed me off the most, in the end, was not how she did it, but the fact that the so-called “new office manager” who was given her job in title only, told the paralegal team the day he “got his promotion” that he was going to have our backs. He was going to be the first one to stand up for us if she came after us for retaliation, etc. Bullshit. He looked out for number one, and that was that.

So now I’m on to a new job. It took me one week of going to interviews every single day, but I found something great. I work for a company of insurance adjusters. There are branches and consultants in 35 states. I work for the corporate office, assisting the head of HR and the head of Finance, as well as the President and CEO. It’s a really laid back office, and the people really treat you like family. I feel at home here and hope things are as good as they seem.

But the happiest news of all….. MY HONEY IS HERE!!!! He is the most amazing man in the world. He is here to visit for a month, and arrived on the day I found out I’d gotten the new job. We celebrated together by going out to dinner as a family. Because when he’s here, that’s what we are. A real family. He steps right in as though he just belongs. He does, in so many ways. He is perfect for us.

I can’t believe it took me 32 years and so many failures to get to this point, to find the man who makes my life complete. This is real happiness, and I am so excited for what the future holds for us. I never want to let him go.

Bitch in sheep’s clothing.
27.Jul.09, 17:38 pm
Filed under: Tidbits About My Life

I’m not a quitter, but I so want to today. My boss played us all for fools. Last Tuesday I went to him about Lynn (office mgr/his girlfriend) and her treatment of the staff as well as major accounting problems I could PROVE. One of our other paralegals quit after he heard her call me an idiot and scream and raise all sorts of hell about an issue she knew nothing about. I told Michael he was about to lose the rest of his staff if he didn’t do something about her, and quite possibly his entire practice if he didn’t do something about the accounting. He called each paralegal in and spoke to them one on one, and they all told him the same thing. He called Shane, the one who quit, and asked him to come back, told him he’d fired Lynn.

She’s back. She’s pissed as hell at me for being the one to stand up and go to Michael about her, and is going to make my life a living hell till I quit. Shane and Kari both told me they were going to walk out if she came back, but they’ve backed down now. If we all walked out together it would have made a statement. If I walk out on my own, I look like a petulant child, a quitter, who can’t handle pressure. I have no choice, but it’s killing me. This is NOT what I signed on for. I do NOT want to be here. She poisons that man until he believes only what she tells him about anyone or anything. It’s pathetic, honestly. How can an attorney, a former judge, be so gullible? He no longer believes the accounting problems, even though there’s documentation. He no longer believes she’s a problem, but instead had a 45 minute staff meeting to sing her praises and tell us how she’s single-handedly saved this firm from the brink of disaster, and that the recent problems are due to him putting too much responsibility on her because she has such a strong work ethic and handles things so beautifully. Gag me. To which, Debra, her favorite suck up, of course had to pipe up with “Thank you so much for all you do for us, Lynn. I really missed you while you were gone.” You’re 52 yrs old woman, have some dignity.

She won’t even look me in the eye unless she’s in front of everyone bitching me out, and even then she won’t speak directly to me, she’ll look at me and act like she’s addressing the group. She’ll walk halfway into my office and throw things onto my desk. She’s taking away my duties and giving them to Debra. This place has become a nightmare, and from what the girl who quit this job before me said, it’s only going to get worse until she pushes me out the door. Physically if she has to.

I need strength. I have to take care of my kids. And I know there’s no way they’d understand.

The Boy Who Cried Marriage
14.May.09, 22:52 pm
Filed under: Tidbits About My Life

I love my dear Pete. He is the man I was made for. He is gentle and kind, passionate and intelligent, sensitive and yet still masculine. He is perfect for me. Peter has never been married, never had children, but wants to marry me and take on my children as his own.

Be that as it may… it’s not as if he’s never come close to marriage. My darling has been engaged not once….. not twice….. but three times. His parents have seen him go through many long term relationships with girls that just never seem to work out. Each of the three times he proclaimed “She’s the ONE!” they have gotten their hopes up for him, only to see it end bitterly, with one or both of them distraught. That being said, Peter has never been the one to end an engagement. He’s always been prepared to see it through, even though he admits that they weren’t the right girl, after the fact.

When my love returned home to the UK, his parents seemed excited and happy to see him, excited to hear of his travels and generally happy for us, that things had gone so well. Now, a month later, the truth has come out. They’re not happy. Granted, they’ve never met me, they’ve never seen us together. They have told him that he is selfish for planning to get married next year when they are planning later next year to go to Chile, and it would be a burden on them to have to make two trips in the same year. They treat our engagement as though it isn’t real, telling him he is being too rash and not thinking things through. In the end…. it’s like the boy who cried wolf, only in this case, the big pointy teeth belonged to the ghosts of fiancee’s past, and each time he’s been engaged only to have it called off in the end.

My family adored Peter. My mother couldn’t be happier with us getting married – she just hopes we live here and not in England because she doesn’t want to be away from her grandchildren. My mom and I spent Mother’s Day afternoon window shopping online for dresses for her to wear to the wedding and playing with a tape measure and some lycra to see if she could cut a few inches off in the process (GO MOM!). A complete 180 from the reaction I expected from her, but I’m liking it!

His mother has expressed her fear of getting to know me only to have him decide it’s a mistake. He says he knows it’s not a mistake. I believe it’s not a mistake. I believe I love this man more than myself, that I adore him, and live and breathe to be with him. The question is: How is it that the people who have known him since before birth, who are supposed to know him better than anyone else on earth, can not see on his face that this love is real? Do they know something that I don’t? Should I be more concerned than I am?

Please don’t misunderstand, I don’t doubt my relationship with my beloved. He is everything to me. I am simply concerned at his parents’ reactions. I expected a bit of shock, but not the hostility he seems to be encountering. I understand that a parent just wants what is best for their child and for them to be happy. And yes, being engaged 3 times only to have it cancelled may seem fickle – but he’s also 38 years old. He’s had plenty of time to get married, and simply knows he only wants to do it once, so he’s not done it when it’s not been right.

I just can’t help wondering – should their reaction be a red flag, or simply taken with a grain of salt (accompanied by a large margarita)? I don’t believe my betrothed would lead me on and then change his mind. I am solid in that belief. Am I right to be this certain when the two people closest to him on the planet aren’t?

9.May.09, 15:23 pm
Filed under: Tidbits About My Life

1.My ex is/was…… finally started helping with childcare.

2. I should learn to… not spend money.

3. I love… my children and my beepooh!

4. People would say that I am… a muppet.

5. I don’t understand…. parents who just walk away from their kids after divorce.

6. When I wake up in the morning… I call my sweetie, if he hasn’t called me yet.

7. I lost… my mind.

8. Life is…. complicated.

9. My past has taught me…that the best things are worth waiting for – but I wish they didn’t take so long!!!!

10. I get annoyed when… my son doesn’t listen.

11. Parties… require a new dress (and cupcakes)!

12. I wish… I could move to England immediately.

13. Dogs and cats… make messes.

14. My childhood pet(s)… are long gone.

15. Tomorrow is… Mother’s Day!

16. I have a low tolerance for… employers who don’t pay!

17. If I had a million dollars… I would move to England and buy a house and throw my dream wedding.

18. I’m terrified of… losing everything.

19. I’ve come to realize… I’ve done a lot of growing up, even in the last five years!

20. I am listening to… Jaden playing Final Fantasy XII

21. I talk… too much, and don’t always make sense, and often to myself!

22. My best friends… know I’m crazy, but still have my back!

23. My first kiss… with Pete was at the airport on a moving sidewalk!

24. Love is… waiting all day just to hear his voice, because that makes everything ok.

25. Marriage is… sometimes a challenge, but with the right person, a lifetime of happiness.

26. Somewhere, someone is thinking… what the hell do I care what they’re thinking???

27. I’ll always be… overweight.

28. The last time I really cried was… When my fiance went back home till xmas!

29. My cell phone is…a piece of junkfrom China.

30. Before I go to bed…check the locks and scrub my face.

31. My middle name… is Michelle.

32. Right now, I am thinking… my tummy hurts.

33. Today I… took Josie for some Dippin’ Dots!

34. Tomorrow I will be… doing laundry, as usual!

35. I really want to… lose weight before my wedding.

36. The person most likely to re-post this is… don’t really care.

37. The person least likely to re-post this is…see question 36.

38. My relationship with my grandparents… my granny is my hero, my grandfather and step-grandma are great, my grandma and step-grandpa… snide and judgmental.

39. My most treasured possession is… I don’t really have one.

40. My favorite pictures…are of my kids and Peter!

41. I sing… in the car.

42. If I was a crayon… seriously? Who comes up with this shit?

43. Someday I want to travel to… England, Scotland, Chile, Spain.

44. I am wearing… jeans and a t-shirt.

45. My favorite class this semester is… N/A?

46. My favorite language is… American

47. It hurts… to be away from him.

48. I’m going to miss… my family and friends after I go.

49. My profile picture is… from 2 days before my Peetie left.

50. I need…more money.